Tuesday, December 27, 2011

I wonder if they call scotch scotch in Scotland?

In these days of the Organics mania sweeping the country, I'd like to take a minute and appreciate the greatest purveyors of organic beverages: The fine Folks of the Scottish Highlands. Your delicious golden liquids flow like an angel pissing down my throat. If Scotch were a class in school I'd have a 4.0 and an affair with the teacher. So remember kids, when in doubt, drink. It will make you funnier, promise.

Monday, December 19, 2011

It's the beginning of something wonderful.... and quite offensive.

 This is my first post. You can count on being insulted at least once a week because, let's face it, I'm better than you at most things. I plan on making you aware of this on a regular basis while at the same time trying to fill the vacuous gap between your ears that you call a head with delicious foodstuffs that won't slowly kill you. There may be some meat on here too. It all depends on how badly I want you dead by the end of the week. Let's do this thing, yeah?